GoD iS pLaYiN tRiCkS oN mE aGaIn!~

This is a very long n ridiculous piece of post…if u all r fuggin not interested in wat happens to an idiot love life and how God toy on me…pls do not highlight n read the following post!~ (save ur time!~ Piss off!)

...once again...I was...was...being trick n con by heaven...or shld I said..god...yue lao!! Giving me false hope...getting so close yet so far! Y??!!! y u gonna let me suffer again n again...I really feel like a piece of rubbish...or mayb a dead shattered rat...I dono wat the hell I’ve done in my past life...tt u wana toy me like this! sob T.T

a lot has happen ytd! Or shld I said...today! this very morning...haiz...chilling out wif my brothers at coffee shop again...den one of my fren...went down to meet us...den chill out lo...actually quite happy at 1st de...buden...sigh...slowly I realized smth very wrong...I like this ger...but...she dun seems to be interested in me...but I stil got tt wrong idea to pursue...wtf rite?? Omg...i’m so stupid!

after our drink at the coffee shop...we went to the hougang park...rot..tok cock...but I duno y I suddenly feel like breakin down...depression mayb!!~ cos I feel smth is fugging wrong now!~ den den den...joseph came to console me...den went back to ask some shit to tt ger...den went back to me at the playground there...saying...he cant tell me everything...but jus the quest. He asked her...dammit! wat the fug rite! Left me hanging there...suspended...in between a cliff dropping or get help! Shuckz! den eventually...slowly...I guess...n gues...den found out...found out the most dreadful n horrendous secret I’ve ever noe...!~ The ger I like...had a crush on my closest brother....WTF!!~~ instead of me...i was so surprised...rooted to the ground...laffing like an idiot...n tears rolling down at the same time...I was morbid at tt point of time...I dono wat to say or wat to do...feeling so lost...one side ish my brothers...and the other my love 1...damn!~ den wat I conclude is rite...from the way she sees “him” I noe she has got tt kinda sparks...in her eyes…but not in my bro eye...urgh...n she keeps on hangin out wif my me n frenz...I tot she wanted to see me more...but no....she wants my frens to be ard wif her instead....not me!~!~ I feel so dead!~

I tell myself...I mustn’t cry...and I shldn’t cry....but tears simply jus fill the brim of my lids...and “POOF”...everything jus burst off like a balloon overflow wif air T.T cry n cry...cried my heart out...almost outta control...but joe stops me...calms me down...though I keep telling him I’m calm and I’m alrite...everything is jus crapz...den kneeling down on the floor...wetted the playground full of my precious tears...

I jus couldn’t acceot the fact tt the one I like will jus fall for my buddy so easily...she said I fell for her too fast...scared her...den she fall for my bro even faster...wat the hell...but I dun blame her...n neither my bud’s...I jus blame myself...for being so foolish...doing the wrong moves...making silly steps again n again...I was given 3 tries...n I wasted all three!~ wat an idiot!~

Firstly(Thrashing move): I found out she’s some1 nice n probably suitable for me n character...I shld’ve slowly build up the chemistry between both eh...instead...I brought her to hang out wif my group of frenz...n simply she jus clicks on too well...which I wish my future partner can too...but...it’s jus too fast...den it’s a wrong move as she will feel tt my frenz r more impt den me...

Secondly(kamikaze move): I shouldn’t hav brought some1 I like to another guys hse rite?? Somemore its my closest bud...n he’s the guy she crush on...omg!~ den when they both chattin happily...n doing magic tricks...I dono wat to do or say...wat can I do or say anyway...true? So...I jus lie down on the bed...pretending to be sleepin!~ PRETENDING...but they dun realized it...I feel so left out n fuggin pissed...den they went out to smoke...n I dun wanna noe wat happen nex...I jus lie there...tryin hard to slp...

Lastly(suicide move): den its ytd...askin her out to chill...wif my grp of buds again...den it all begins like wat I told earlier on...n it’s the suicide move!~ DEAD!!~ Very DEAD!!

I didn’t slp the whole nite...too afraid to close my eyes...hallucination...horrible ones...went to take a walk when joe they all didn’t realize...cos I wanna be alone...slowly...I walk n walk....den reached serangoon north there...sitting by the road side...tinkin a lot n a lot...den suddenly...sky turns bright again...n sun scorching on my freakin tired back...its abt 9+ in the morning...so I decide to take a cab home...too tired n restless...

Heart is in pieces...hoping it can be mend back...but instead of this...it turns to ashes...burnin hot in my blood...tt has nv contain love!~ ya...LOVE!~ I’m too afraid too love now...and forever...Cinderella of mine is nv exist!~

Thx for all ur precious time...dun bother to console me...the more u console...the more I’ll tink n... T.T I need to be alone...n if I need some1 to lean on...hope u palz can provide me wif some shoulders n tissue...I’m a guy ya....but who says guy mustn’t cry...canot cry??! Fug it man!~ I’ve got feelings too...I’m make of flesh... born wif a weak heart to face r’ship...so wat... ciaoz!~